Steve....

It's been nine years!

and, 

although my heart is not ripped out like it has in the past, 

it's still intact, and beating.

it still hurts....

because, sometimes you want someone here instead of there!

 and sometimes life seems a little unfair because of that.

but,

 that is just my opinion!

I really like this Santa Clause...

one,

 because he is full of detail and he's wearing a green suit instead of a red one, 

he has a lot of character and details and I like that about him.

 One year when Steve and Heather were married they always made the coolest gifts.

they didn't gifted me the Santa but.....

(Thanks Heather)

 Heather had made all of us girls a Christmas swag with unique California pine cones, that she picked up from California.....
these pine cones are flatter like a flower instead of those long tall pine cones that we are use to seeing everywhere everday,
I've always tried to keep mine special and intact. It's quite fragile after all these years.

It reminds me of the good ole' days when Steve was happy with his little family.

He brought a happiest into my life, and into others lives and seemed to lift my burdens by just reminding me "not to sweat the small stuff," that is a gift if you ask me,
 cuz not everyone has that ability!

I like this Santa, it reminds me of Steve

and, 

that makes me smile....

*this is one of my favorite picture of Steve and his little son Arik,

who I think was about 2 or 3 years old at the time.

(we just came across it a couple of months ago!)

Steve traveled a lot all over the world and so when he was home, he was home and enjoyed his family,

I think this picture kind-of says it all.

I can feel the love just jumping off the page.

pictures can speak a thousand words sometimes!!!

don't ya think?

we still love and miss you everyday Steve.

You better watch out, and you better not pout....

 I got the awesome opportunity to sit on Santa's lap a few weekends ago..... 

it was a magical experience, 

one that doesn't happen every year, in fact, I think I sat on ole' St. Nick's lap about 15 years ago,

 but, 

this one was just a little extra special to me....

CUZ, THIS CUTE OLE' ST. NICK JUST HAPPENED TO BE... 

MY DAD!!!

(one is never to old to sit on Santa's lap.)

He's since clean shaven again, dang-it!

Memories!!!

Heads are going to roll...

 Ohhh Thanksgiving...2013

*Lynzie was sick.
*Our fridge hose broke, which caused a water leak in Caitlyn's room. 

*Mrs Pilgrim (aka Martha) head fell off.
and
*Mr. Pilgrim (aka George) can't stand up by himself...(only on hard surfaces)

George and Martha make a good pair, those two.

BUT

all in all

it was a nice day,

the food was delicious and it was so nice to hang out as a family

we were low keyed,

 my mom and dad came up later that evening for a little left-overs....

Cj is Twenty and One!

Happy Birthday to my oldest daughter.....

she's 21 already!

boy, times fly when you're having fun!!!

twenty-one...

perspective....

Life is a learning experience every day.... 

or, 

at least it should be seeing that's what we are here for, right?...

most of the time we are running around doing those really important things like yelling at the kids to hurry up and catch the bus, or reminding them for the 1,000th times to take out the trash, brush there teeth, or only use a few towels during the week, not two a day, ugh.

you know,

 all those REALLY life altering important things that matter most!

and your running around with your head cut off like a chicken cuz there is so much to do that is sooo

important!

and then,

one little minute and a few short words can change all that!

I had the honor of cutting my beautiful cousins'  hair tonight,

I've cut it before so I didn't think anything about it...

but, she showed me a picture of Hallie Berry and said that's what she wanted!?!

now, keep in mind this cousin is a few years younger than I am,

she is gorgeous, she takes good care of herself, she was a model, just to give you an idea,

she's one of those beautiful long thick red-headed brown eyed girls, with the cutest nose and the best smile ever...

I asked her if she was donating her hair again to locks of love?

but, even at that, she's never gone that short.

"no, she said, 

 I have colon cancer and I'm going to lose it next week, 

so, I thought I'd have a little fun and have it short and spiky"!!!

she was so positive about it,

 after I picked my jaw up off the floor, we started cutting and talking.

I just couldn't believe how gorgeous she still looked even with short hair...

my heart just started to swell at her positiveness about her situation,

everything has happened so fast, she just called all her brothers and sister to tell them about it today...

It made me seemed to forget about all those REALLY important things,

you know, like the dirty socks, and all those feelings

that I feel that I need to control to be a good mom,

it was a beautifully spiritual experience cutting her hair and remembering to just focused on what life is really for and all about.

Tomorrow I don't think I'll be too worried about the kids catching the bus or mad because once again they forgot to have me sign one of their school papers.

life is about LOVE and treasuring those whom we do love,

and learning to serve and love others....

not about Spencer's socks constantly on the floor....

 so what,

 if I get to pick them up everyday for the next 4 years, (what's 4 more years, I've already done it for 15, you'd think I'd be a pro at it by now, not a grumpy old women!)

 one day,

 I won't have that awesome opportunity cuz he'll get married and then his wife will get to do that wonderful job, and I might even kind-of miss it...maybe

(after a while, of course)

I'm just so touched by Hiedi,

life is short and fragile and heck, how many times do we forget that during the day.

I've experienced enough tragedy in my little 47 years of life that I should have never forgotten, 

and yet somehow I did!

When people asked us where Lynzie got her red hair from,

we always tell them from my cousin Heidi.....

We love you Heidi,

 We will send you our thoughts and prayer during the days and weeks and months that are ahead,

 just to help keep you going during those rough days.

Thank you for being so positive and helping me remember what LOVE and LIFE is all about!

**post note, she just sent me pictures this morning of her cute hair on the way to work!
she looked gorgeous!